President Zammi Announces Game Changing USA Strain
Put down the joint, bong, blunt wrap, or vaporizer—in fact, stop what you are doing right now. The era of mediocre American cannabis strains is over. Today, we usher in a period of genetic superiority and world-class weed.
CALLING ALL CANNABIS PATRIOTS
We welcome Monster Zkittlez. In a world increasingly filled with movements intended to divide opinion, something we can all agree on is our love for industry-leading marijuana. With the supreme kai of cannabis, President Zammi himself, addressing the nation, Zamnesia has just announced something indoor and outdoor growers will relish. Monster Zkittlez is an indica-dominant strain (80%) that blows apart mediocrity and has complete dominance over run-of-the-mill marijuana.
PUT THE MEDIOCRE WEED DOWN!
In a top secret facility, far from the sprawling cityscapes of modern living, the expert breeders at Zamnesia have been hard at work creating something genuinely groundbreaking. The road to success is never easy, but there was no obstacle, wall, or otherwise, that could stop Grape Ape and Grapefruit from coming together in holy unity. The result is an intensely fruity lady exhibiting the best parts of her indica and sativa parents. It isn’t just her fruity aroma that will overwhelm your senses, sweet-candy-like flavours explode in the mouth, triggering an intense need to take hit after hit. Careful though, this seductive beauty comes packed with 15-22% THC. Thankfully, her balanced heritage delivers the perfect equilibrium between euphoria and couch lock. Neither one nor the other, she is sublime for those that want to savour the afternoon while still feeling the weight of the world leave their shoulders.
MONSTER ZKITTLEZ WILL MAKE AMERICAN STRAINS GREAT AGAIN
If, like us, you are tired of inconsistent results, tired of poor yields, and tired of strains that require 24/7 care, then stand with Zamnesia, as they pledge to make American strains great again. If ‘Zkittlez’ is the clue to her fierce flavours, then we are sure you can guess what the ‘Monster’ in her name refers to. Robust growth rewards both indoor and outdoor growers with a haul that rivals the federal reserve. Expect 600g/m² and 600g/plant respectively, and in both cases, plants that stay just shy of 200cm. It is at this point that any ordinary strain announcement would declare the downsides, pointing to extended flowering time, or a preference for a particular climate. Monster Zkittlez is no common strain, and as such, you can expect an eight-week flowering period with zero special adjustments needed to get the best out of her.
SIGNED, SEALED AND SOON TO BE DELIVERED
The budget has been agreed, the mandate is signed, and Monster Zkittlez is nearly ready to be shipped out. Her creation is a symbol of hope for cannabis enthusiasts the world over, a turning point in the fight against sub-standard strains, average yields, and lacklustre flavour. Available very soon exclusively at Zamnesia.
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Soft Secrets
