Stoned at the Grocery Store? Surviving the ‘Outside World’ is Sometimes Tricky

Soft Secrets
14 Sep 2020

We've all been there. You got high, you feel like your body is going to crumble on the floor because you are suddenly feeling like Bambi who's just learned how to walk, but you realize you had to make an emergency run to the supermarket. Wait, there's even worse. Like that time when you waited for the plumber for the whole afternoon, and when you thought he won't come, you got so stoned, and then the bell rings. Surprise, surprise. It's the plumber. 

 Being stoned at the grocery store or just stoned when you are about to have an interaction where it's preferable to be sober, not high, can be tricky. You may quickly develop a feeling that everyone around you knows you are high, and you may assume they judge you for your appearance, from neighbors you see also shop at the market to the lady on the counter where you must pay the bill.  Actually, a few years ago, BuzzFeed did an excellent video to capture the experience of two potheads who enter the grocery store to buy eggs. As you might imagine, their supermarket encounters were more than just buying eggs.

Stoned at the Grocery Store: Different Ways it Can Go

Depends on how the weed hits you, really, there is an "unpredictability" pattern on how things can unfold at the grocery store. You can get the job done - buy eggs - in less than 2 minutes and feel like you've traveled with the speed of light from your doorstep through the store and back home. But also, it can feel like you've spent like several long, painful hours outside, dragging your butt from one corner of the store to the other.  The next day, you probably won't remember much of your venturing, and in case you deemed this experience was unpleasant, you may wish it never repeats again. Or perhaps you'll see this kind of activity as something fun, a way to chill out your brain, to wander the supermarket in a quest to purchase groceries, and it just may become a sort of routine thing you do when you get high. The odds are favorable that you may enter a deep philosophy mood as you skim through the items on each shelf. You may be 'lured' to those bananas' intricate shape, the playful texture of the pineapples, or the perfectly rounded shape of that pie of cheese, laid next to the salami. Probably, until you reach the part with the snacks, where those sweet puffy marshmallows suddenly begin to smile at you, saying 'Buy me, buy me.' Or, until you accidentally bump on Peter, the guy next door, who always has some nice-smelling nugs to share. Now he tells you, with all his generosity, that you should come to his place instead of going home. The nonchalant invitation may, in fact, utterly distract you from your grocery-doing mission and having you rationalize that another joint is actually not such a bad idea. Although you really don't like Peter's company at this moment. So, really, there's plenty that can happen when you go to the local grocery store when you are high.

Stoned at the Grocery Store: Strategies to Implement

Make a list of items you want to buy 

Well, you know that weed may induce forgetfulness after you smoke it. So, you don't want to go to the grocery store and forget what you were supposed to buy. Write down on a piece of paper the list of things you were planning to purchase or scribe the list in a Notes app on your phone. 

Take cash with you

If the grocery store accepts cash, leave home your credit card, and take just enough money that you need to buy the stuff you intend to purchase. It's probably best to calculate how much you plan to spend to not overspend on things like… snacks and garbage food. If you think that weed will impair your abilities to perform simple math operations, make those calculations in advance. 

Avoid the shelf of snacks.

Yeah, since we mentioned snacks. When the munchies hit you, and they may hit you timely, just as you walk into the supermarket, you might be tempted to buy different snacks, which may have high sugar content. Or you may be tempted to purchase greasy food or cheap energy drinks and soda that does nothing good for your health. As much as it's okay to spoil yourself with junk foods occasionally, you should restrain yourself from buying snacks if this is your weakness. You could get inventive on how to deal with munchies and instead purchase ingredients to prepare a healthy meal. 

Try to behave well

Depends on what weed you smoke and how it hits you, it may be more or less noticeable on the outside whether you are high or not. Of course, to you personally, you may think that everyone will know you are 'high' the moment they fix their gaze on you, especially if you catch a glaring expression on the vendor's face. In a better case scenario, you may have all the confidence in the world that despite you are 'high,' you can perform your duties and buy a pineapple, spaghetti, and frozen chicken nuggets without looking like you've just landed from Mars. It's up to you, but it's best to repeat to yourself, in your thoughts, before you actually enter the grocery shop - that you look normal. Nothing is wrong with you. Just already go! It's good that you also drink a glass of water before you go out so that you prevent cottonmouth, which might impair your ability to talk fluently with store employees or random people you meet in the elevator. 

Bumping on a random person, someone you'd rather avoid

Yikes. This could be one of the strangest situations when you are high. It may totally invoke the kind of behavior from you that you will just hate yourself for afterward. Or that later you'll feel some sort of shame when you remember they saw you high, how you looked all strange and pale, god forbid if you were greening out. In such cases, try to keep the conversation at a minimum. But also, try not to give too short of answers if the person asks you something that somehow requires a momentous talking effort from your side. If the conversation gets too complicated for your brain on weed, say you are in a hurry because you have guests at your place who are now waiting for you. If Peter is the random person you want to avoid, just thank him for the invitation but say that you really must go now. You can postpone the session with Peter for another day, especially if Peter is boring folks to sit out your chill hours with.

If you can't contain your laughter

Yeah, something funny happens in the elevator, and you are stuck with your super grumpy neighbor. At this point, you would just not burst out in laughter at them because they already want to tell your mum they're suspecting you are getting high every night. Or your pal who's coming with you to the grocery shop says something funny and you can't stop laughing. You are being inappropriate. Bite your nails. Or better bite your tongue with the teeth to contain your laughing until it's appropriate to laugh.

Drink water

It's often the most overlooked tip, but drinking water can have different benefits when you are high and need to control how high you feel. It's a tip you should take when you realize that the plumber who has been late is ringing on your doorbell. Water can help you get yourself together if the weed is starting to bring you down. Drinking a glass can also help if you suddenly feel sick, as will also flushing your face and neck with water. Of course, if you think that you are feeling sick when you are just about the enter the supermarket, that all those neon lights are disturbing your senses, in that case, just sit on a bench somewhere close to the grocery store and wait until the 'bad' sensation goes away. Take a deep breath and don't panic. Usually, if a bad feeling occurs from smoking weed, it should go away in 10-20 minutes. Racking your brain in the 'outside' world is sometimes challenging when you are stoned, but knowing what to do upfront in tricky situations that may come your way - helps. Anyways, suppose you smoked too much, and you are unable to perform such an innocent yet high-engaging activity as going stoned to the supermarket. In that case, you can always postpone the activity for half an hour or until your confidence is restored and you feel much better.

Soft Secrets